Wednesday 27th February

Hey

Well I actually had a very productive day at work. I tasked myself on the online system yesterday certain targets and I completed them. Which is very unusual! I think I just got bored and actually decided to earn my living today he he. There is still two more days in the week left to slack off.

I got a letter from my interview and I have been progressed to the next stage. I was most confused at this non descript letter till I received a telephone call from the Vetting department saying that I was being vetted and my references checked so I can providing they come back OK be offered a position. I was so excited I have told everyone I have bumped into.

As as added complication I still have an interview to attend next Friday for the well paid boring job. Plus I seen one in London I fancy the look of too. Andrew is going to help me fill out the personal statement I have the perfect examples he has the eloquent English writing skills to make it sound human.

Been hammering the gym in the vain attempt to make myself look like I have to body of a god. I ache all over but I think I can see an improvement all ready. My muscles feel tight and in the coming weeks I hope I start to tone up. Andrew is a great trainer!

Yesterday at the gym we did legs. I pushed myself as my legs are my strongest feature, and boy did i regret it today walking into work like I had either had too much sex or to put it bluntly shit myself. I had loosened up by this evenings session, and that's a gym session. I met Andrew after fighting my way through the rush hour traffic and we did upper body work out the second one this week . I felt a bit of a failure as i could not complete all the reps in the sets. Andrew assured me this is good as It shows I am working out to my maximum potential.

I am taking protein and creatine to help my muscles grow.

I leave the gym feeling great say goodbye to Andrew and set off home. I arrive home tired, after a busy day at work and a good workout to find my ceiling in my living room hanging off.























See Picture. My landlord is in the process of replacing my roof and the exterior of my flat looks like it is encased with mecano. I am less than impressed with this as it looks very unsafe and I don't like the idea of having my ceiling come falling down around me. England was struck by an earthquake last night so I am unsure if this is roof repair guy falling through damage or mother nature.

I rang my father whom is a structural engineer and he said was it there this morning after the quake. I said last time I was in my home it was 7.30am I was just happy I was awake and walking not looking at the ceiling. I mean what else can he expect at that hour!!!


He seemed to think by my very technical description that the ceiling is broken that its just superficial and just needs the plasterboard replacing. Just more faff and hassle. Does this mean I will have to re decorate???

Whilst downloading this picture from my mobile phone I also downloaded a picture that I took on my way home from work the other day. It is so tranquil the sky and the bleeding lights from the cars. Let me know what u think.




















I really should go into a career as a photographer!!!

Anyway enough for today I got boring household chores to do.

Sleep well all

Sunday The Big Interview

Well Hello there all,

Well I had my interview at the police headquarters for the call handler position. I was so nervous, As I approached this 15 story building the hub of the police force I suddenly realise that if I am successful with this job this is going to begin the biggest adventure of my like...My career the next 25 years of my life!! This excites me and scares me at the same time but I walk into the building like I have been there all my life!! I sign in at reception and wait to be collected.

I am wearing a black Ted baker suite a brilliant white shirt (to show I can pull off white as its the uniform) with a nice contrasting Red Tie! I must confess I looked good, and the response off Andrew before I left was favourable.

His role in all this was to keep me calm! I was ultra high maintenance last night panicking that I had prepared professional enough answers to the framework I was to be interviewed from. I woke up early and started panicking but then the sight of Andrew sleeping so soundly next to me made me relaxed, then he awoke and saw I was stressing, and he just held me which was perfect! I got up and did some last minute prep and then went and cuddled for an hour and watched the rest of Stepford wives we had started the previous evening.

I then made breakfast which consisted of crumpets and tea and coffee, what a civilised breakfast! I bought the crumpets cos they boasted only 1%fat, i figures that with butter and jam they would even up to a regular calorie breakfast!

They seem to go down a treat.

I leave Andrew to get ready at my place I guess he figured it was easier to stay out of the way and get ready when I have gone... A wise precaution.

So the interview went well I think, I seem to construct sensible sentences and answer all the questions thrown at me! They have me a proper grilling but I think I performed well. Thanks to Andrew for all the encouragement he gave me. Nothing seems to rattle him, he is fantastic.

He is off to see his mum today it being her birthday yesterday, so lucky boy will be in for some good home cooking! My friend whom works for the police already is finishing at 5 pm so I think I will go meet them and go and have a Sunday lunch at a local pub, I think i deserve it.

I had a text off my current boss which was nice wishing me luck.

Well gonna sign off for now go get some much needed rest and do some boring housework!!

I took this picture at the zoo last week how good would it be to a tiger!!!

Please post your comments!

My God Decisions Decisions

As if life does not get complicated enough then the world throws more complications just to make it interesting!!!!

It’s based around my employment status and I will attempt to explain. Jobs I have in progress are

1) Police Officer - I am at the second stage, its a good career, good pension, weird hours, but interesting and as close to forensics as I think I can get as real forensics is too competative. Possible 60mile commute
2) Call handler job at A police HQ - Weird hours, tedious work, and excellent networking possibility to get into forensics, 60 mile commute, and good money.
3) Intelligence analyst for the A health agency for NHS, boring work, good skills to be learnt, good relocation opportunity within the NHS, no commute its 5 mins from home, good money, but its not police or forensics or related.

I have interviews for all of them and I am trying to think 3 steps ahead of time. Things I like in a job are variation, so the Department of health and police would give that, I do like regular hours but I also like things changing so all of them satisfy that criteria. Money is an issue but all of them are a similar starting wage approx 20 grand. I do like working on the move so the police would give that but I am not sure I would be a good police officer.
Obviously I May get none of them but I could also end up with all of them. The police officer one is long term suppose so can put that on the back burner, but the other two are imminent. I also am just about to apply for a Fingerprint Assistant job with Lancashire police, which is forensics local, and ok money but who knows if I will even get an interview for this. My brain is on fire please can someone leave me a comment and help me.!!!!!

Andrew is away this evening on a business thingie near St Ives somewhere!!! He rang before and I gave him a data burst of all this and he was so sweet and told me that we will discuss it tomorrow face to face and go through all the possibilities and for me to switch my brain off for this evening. I think I may just do that.
It was our 4 month anniversary on Tuesday! It has flown by to be honest and I can say I have enjoyed every second and Andrew deserves a medal for putting up with my over active brain.!! I don’t think you can think too much, I plan for everything ha ha

On a cool note I planned a surprise trip for me and Andrew to see his best friend in London. Well it was a surprise till I crumbled under interrogation. But he is very happy! I am kind of scared about meeting his best friend!! Just got to book the train tickets now next week.

I also got Andy finalised for a week in Greece in June!!! I can’t wait I love it there, feels more like home than England to be honest!

Well enough ranting for one evening. Please feel free to leave me a comment regarding the job thing!

Sunday 17th

What a weekend. Probably been the best in recent months!

Went with my man to the zoo today. I was moderately disappointed with the turnout on behalf of the animals, not a rhino, tiger, or many reptiles to be seen. Suppose I can understand it was sunday afterall. We went in the monkey enclosure and saw some very energetic monkeys swinging around manically, it looked so much fun and exhillerating. I honestly wanted to join in he he. We wandered round in very cold temperatures trying to find the illusive larger animals. maybe they had all gone back to their native country to escape the british winter who could blame them!!
I had never been to a zoo before and I really enjoyed it. Animals have the right attitude, they dont seem to take life to seriously. I am going to adopt a more carefree attitude I think.
We then the most narcacistic lion i have ever seen. He paraded in front of the cameras like his paddock was one big cat walk! Just proves we are more similar than we think! Kings of our own species!
Andrew then realised we were close to cheshire oaks a massive clothes outlet village. So we made our way back to the car to go shopping and I was so hungry I needed to eat!
We wandered around this weird psuedo village filled with every item of clothing you could ever imagine from every designer in the world and suddenly there was nothing to buy. I did buy some very comical PJ's with monkey's on from GAP, and andrew bought a very sexy suit indeed. He did look good I must admit. We went in the Calvin Klein underwear shop and andy bought some comical versions of his undergarments!

All this shopping and animal viewing was tiring so we set off home. This would have been a simple job however me the navigational dumbass missed the motorway junction and we ended up from cheshire to manchester airport to my flat one big circle.

We got back to the flat and napped for a little while whilst watching this teen slasher film I had bought for £1 yesterday. It was watchable, thats probably the best way to describe it. The blonde guy in it was very good looking and we both decided he was the best thing in the film. The over use of dramatic music kind of drowned out the plot of the film but it was good to watch when half asleep.
I am really happy with my relationship with andrew he is so good, we get on well and dont get on each others nerves at all.

I am still having mixed feeling about my application success to be a police officer. I am very happy as its a good career. A total 180 from what I wanted to do but I suppose its good all the same. Any comments wold be appreciated.

Anyway enough for one day I am gonna make my lunch and head off to bed for a relaxed nights sleep.

Saturday 16th

I wake up early and go and meet my father at his usual haunt on a saturday morning which is the supermarket. He starts arguing with me! I have just passed the first stage into being a police officer. I am very happy but he has a problem with it. He seems to not want a son in the police. I explained that my career choice is none of his business and any messing out of him and I will arrest him!!! Ha Ha.
I thought this was bang out of order as he should be proud I am going for a better career! What a Git.

I get home and telephone Andrew whom is playin medal of honour..... Without me.......How dare he. We chat and decide what to do today. He wants to go to the Zoo, so after a internet searching google conversation we discover it closes at 3 and would be too late today but decide to go tomorrow! I never been and I am excited. Although I am a little wary of big animals, especially the fluffy nice looking ones my theory is they look good they must be the most vicious. I will report on the Zoo trip tomorrow!

We decide that today should be a film. One called jumper sounds like a sci fi crime spy jobby, so sounds good. We are going to do a little shopping first, so i decided that reebok stadium is the way forward.

I really want to book my holiday. I have asked andrew to come with me, which I suppose is a big step, but he said yes and I am waiting for my greek mother to come back to me with prices!
I am thinking of late may early june time.

Right I am going to have a nap I think......zzzzzzzzzzzz

Post Valentines

Well the remainder of my week was a bit of alright.
I was really looking forward to valentines day for a few reason.
1. I was actually with someone for one
2. I was with someone whom I actually care about and want to celebrate this event with
3. I was looking forward to my meal Andrew was cooking.

I had already booked friday off work so that was something to look forward to nice long weekend. I managed to finish work at 4.15 on thursday so I shot home got a shower and then went about paying bills and other mundane boring tasks.
I arrived back home and andrew had arrived at my flat and already had the meal well in hand. I decided that my productive role was that of gentle encouragement and lingered round the kitchen offering motivational comments.

He had got me a nice card with a small yappy dog blinged up on the front. Not a valentines day one but I suppose there is a lack of cards made for male male relationships. I was very impressed with his effort. He had got a sexy hair cut too. I really like his hair short!

We eat then feel very full and end up just lying on my couch for a while watching mindless episodes of hollyoaks! Where have all the good looking people gone out of this show. It used to be the pretty peoples soap now they are all spotty youths! Does this mean I am getting older!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anyway after some fun, we sleep and wake up late on friday!

Eventually when we are ready and look good enough to go out in public we venture to the trafford centre! Andrew is obsessed with watches and we look at many over priced but very nice watches. To be fair there was a hugo boss one which was very nice and I would love! But that man has enough money, so MR BOSS you aint gettin my money yet!
We had a nice traditional fish and chip meal and then a coffee. All this watch shopping must have been all too much as andy slept all the way back in the car and another hour at my flat before we go to his house.

We play medal of honour, well he played I acted as a second pair of eyes, as for some reason I have lost all co-ordination for computer games and I end up looking spazzy!
All in all a really good 24 hours, he is a good man to have!

Its tuesday Once again

Hi Avid readers lol





Well I had an ok start to the day, in the fact I got up looked at myself in the mirror and thought lookin good!!!!!


I got to work a little later than planned at 8.45, which is fifteen mins into my standard sitting drinking a brew time. I had to rush!!!!!!


I loaded up the computer and trawled through the load of emails from the night before. Luckily because I am a temp I only get adverts to win stuff which usually kills the first hour of my day.





Anyway I will fast forward to the interestine parts of my day.


My mother recently found out she had a brain tumour so I have been a little bit down. They must have noticed at work because they got me this.

I thought this was very sweet and SSS is not some kind of secret police its the Stop Smoking Service!!!! So the highlight of my moring was recieving this psuedo valentines well wishing gift. I sound a bit ungrateful there but I actually was touched by the gesture and I think they do appreciate me!!!

At 4.30 I got my lucky break, the computer network went down Fantastic!!!!! Therefore I went home at 4.45 as i could not do anything.

On the way home I was thinking what I should cook for my tea! Over the past few weeks I have attempted to cook sausages numerous times in the form of Toad in the Hole. Never understood where the toad comes in but I am not here to question why! It never works when I cook it, so i decided to just cook sausauges. So after a quick phone call to andrew to make me feel like a retard for asking how to cook sausages in the oven i am off cooking. They are cooking as I type so will update on the state of cooking later.

He is cooking me Toad in the hole for valentines, maybe there is some sexual aspect to this dish choice......mmmmmmmmm maybe!!!

Monday Madness

Hi I am really miffed with being a lonely temp today. I got stuck with all the shitty work within the office to do because the rest of the team went to a meeting, which I had some good ideas about but as I am more than transparent my opinions dont matter. So as a sad piece of revenge whilst they were all away sipping coffee and eating overpriced biscuits talking about their kids ailments I selected all the phones divert to voicemail and I took a long lunch. My demonstration of defiance would have had more weight if they actually knew what I had done, but nevertheless I felt better.
I emailed andrew and enquired about the state of his yankee flu. It was a little better he said which is all good, and he suggested the chippy for tea. So bad but so good.

Then on my way home I was slowly driving in the rush hour traffic when I noticed the guy driving in the car behind me. He was also in a nice VW golf so instantly my competitative streak kicked in.....was his car better than mine, after I decided that he was a mere petrol model, I then noticed his sunglasses. They were round, absolutely massive, they filled his face, he looked like a walking talking fruit fly. I asked myself the question WHY!!! Why would you purchase something so foul. Did he purchase them in the dark in a sunglasses shop with no mirrors. I mean his friends should have Vito'ed this purchase before his visa was approved at the checkout.
I regret not having telepathy as I could have informed him of what I see when I looked at him. Coupled with his unkempt hair, this sight may keep me awake tonight, or at the very least I will be looking at flies in a different light for the next few days.

I am thinking I may have a battered sausage (excuse the pun) chips and gravy from the chippy. I will pay for it when my pants dont fit in the morning but who cares. Andrew just txt and he is on his way. Cant wait I am starving.

Later Potatta

Friday Night Sat Morning

Well hello there all my faithful readers.

I went to the theatre last night with 7 women from work. I was hoping for a night of culture and sophistication. Which I got because no matter how big or amature the theatre is the hard core regulards seem to have this air of royalty around them, not sure why perhaps its in the cups of tea they drink there..... must try one next time. The play was called its never too late, it was a real life situation thing, man leaves wife for younger model, then wifes male friends are suddely like flies round dog shit for the newly single woman. Amusing and well put together.

However during this play I realised a few disturbing factors. When in a mans life do their trousers stop fitting them. My pants fit in all areas around the crotch and ass and in the leg. All the men involved in this production seemed to have a massive gaps and excess material in the whole genetal area. This is not to say that they were fat the the waist band was just clinging to their belly creating a triange kind of effect down towards the crotch. Is there a designer or some clothes shop that takes all the scrap pieces of material and sews them into perfectly nice clothes and then sells them to the over 50's. Suppose this in either the most ingenious idea cornering a market to make a fortune or the designer of these pants is a confessed sadist or fatter than hell. I wonder if it is about not wanting to show off your asscets. I cant imagine not wanting not to look your best when your out in public.
I mean yes I am not lookin for a new man but it can only be complimemtary for him If I look good cant it.

Another gem I gleamed from my night at the theatre is the ability to laugh politely at jokes that maybe you dont understand. I have always just said I dont get it. But several times last night I found myself just laughing at jokes or sayings that i did not understand. Is this growth.

Well currently my man is mid atlantic which I hate the idea of hense why I am up too early because I hate flying and feel that if you did not get a holiday at the end of it what is the point. It seems unatural to travel in a car on land down to tesco you have to wear your seatbelt al the time but to be 30000 ft travelling at 500mph you only have to wear it at the start and the end. Plus I dont like the idea of travelling that fast in basically a steel tube with seats held together with glue. I know they are a wonder of the modern age but I just cant get my head round th whole concept. I usually tackle flying the same way I deal with insomnia. Get annoyed and stressed or consult prince vallium then what ever happens at least your brain in that dulled you really could not care less.
Being drunk dont help either I was pissed on a flight to Zante a few years ago and I have never had such a mind altering experience has becomming very hung over midflight. I was dehydrated massive headache, mouth life a flip flop, and no pain killers to numb this. I got to zante and I think a blow up doll representation of me would have been more use to my friends in the trauma of collecting the bags.
Overall flying, drinkin, and travelling = trauma bad idea.

Well best go and get myself dressed and off to the supermarket then to the airport to pick up my man. I am very excited.

Important People

Probably during the production of this insight into my mnd I will be mentioning certain people. They consist of

Andrew -My Man
Nikki - My friend and comedy duo partner
Pluggy - An ex trolly dolly now turned accountant
Stuart - My best friend
Redeye - Nothing rude his whole face is always red

Anyone else I will update as time goes on, They are the basics.

This is the first rant

Well its wednesday night and I have had yet another moderate day at the temp real job. Well I should really first introduce myself. I am Chris. I decided to start this blog so things running through my mind wont take it over and I wake up one day sectioned in a padded cell.

I am 25 live in the lovely rainy north of england. Its an ok place to live I guess.

Although I do think the chav was invented here, they must breed them on secluded council estates in.

Well I currently work for the NHS which has been a very eye opening experience. No wonder this country is falling apart with the sheer ammount of time wasted on pointless meetings and over complicated decision making when surely the only question should be how can we make these people well and how can we get the hospitals nice and for christs sake can we have a budget for some up to date magazines in the waiting areas.

I am by qualification and passion a Forensic Scientist, wishing to be a CSI. But thanks to the best programme ever invented CSI Vegas (Non of that Miami Shit) there is about as much chance of me plaiting fog than me becomming a CSI unless a blow off the ugliest guy.

I am wondering currently what I find attractive in people as I am at the moment watching Sex in the city which my boyfriend Andrew let me borrow while he is off doing business things in US and A.
The whole programme basically is about what looks good and feels good. Does it make me shallow that I see nothing wrong with this. I am sorry but I only want to be surrounded with pretty people. I am as shallow as a puddle.
I have noticed that there are some bloody ugly specimens around. Have you all noticed this. Where do they come from?? And where do they go?

I have come to the conclusion that I am now officially missing my man. He has been away for nearly two weeks and I am ready for him to come home now. Just to let the universe know.

Anyway enough for one night I can hear the kettle calling my name although another brew might make the difference between me awake all night reaching for the help of prince vallium to sleep or not. Somone help me make this decision.

Good evening all